made me smile while i ate a lean pocket.

Fearless, Colbie Caillat & an old piano.

Steph goes to Orlando, FL.

TO SAY BYE TO JOJO AT LAKE BUTT. HAHA AUGUST 2009.

taking it back to the old school.

Gypsy Den with the Surfing50States boys.

sometimes i eat lunch at my desk because there's always something to research. Today I ended up going back in time and i stumbled across one of my old blogs. It's crazy...

1. how much I used to write on here

2. how busy and distracted I got.

3. how reading old words put you right back there in that moment in time and you remember EXACTLY what you were referring to.

4. how people that were a huge part of your life just aren't there anymore. Friends part ways, hearts are hurt, relationships damaged...learn something from every person and situation, love large amounts, and don't take anyone or any moment for granted.

If you have time take a gander at this...

the best part of waking up

CURRENT SONG: Even Born Again- Sarah Jaffe

i like this.

"Everybody has to leave, everybody has to leave their home and come back so they can love it again for all new reasons."
- Donald Miller, Through Painted Deserts

I read this book back in 2006. I let someone borrow it and i don't remember who...so i bought another copy last week. Funny how you read a book the 2nd time around and it resonates with you on a much deeper level than the 1st. I read it when i first had the itch to get out there and "see the world". So cliché, right? At least that's what i've been told. Pack up my stuff. leave the comfortable. the familiar. meet people. hear their stories. take my camera and guitar and just....you know, hit the road. I have found that this feeling inside of me just won't go away. I can suppress it...sometimes for years at a time and convince myself to be responsible, save money and be adultish...if you will. I've had just about enough. I feel it stirring inside of me...this time it's much more. An intense feeling that I have put aside for too long. We were made for more than a 9-5 job in a tiny cubicle. Ellen said it best...

"Normal is getting dressed in clothes that you buy for work and driving through traffic in a car that you are still paying for - in order to get to the job you need to pay for the clothes and the car, and the house you leave vacant all day so you can afford to live in it." -Ellen D.

i just can't do that anymore. but i'll tell you more about that later.

tasty treats.

a few of the Songs/Artists/Albums that have made my summer complete.

Bon Iver- Blindsided
Beth Hart- Favorite Things
Eugene & the 1914- Still Around listen
Dar Williams- The Beauty of the Rain
Colbie Caillat- Fearless, Never Told You
Great Lake Swimmers- Pulling on a Line, Moving Pictures Silent Films
Ingrid Michaelson's entire "Everybody" album
Damien Jurado- Denton, TX
Phoenix- Wolfgang Amadeus Phoneix
Meshell Ndegeocello- Beautiful
Tiger Tank Euphoria listen
the Black Keys- Nobody But You
Kings of Leon- I Want You, 4 Kicks
Don't Look Back- Télépopmusik
Little Dragon- Twice
New Radicals- You've got the music in you
Sunny Levine- Love Rhino

foolish behavior @ the holiday inn.

Surfing 50 States.

Gotta love my Aussie buds Jonno & Stefan (http://www.surfing50states.com/). Read this interview with them and watch their trailer:) READ THIS

Surfing 50 States Teaser Trailer from Jonno Durrant on Vimeo.

certifiably nuts.

"I was certifiably nuts. I was crazy in everyone's mind but my own. I knew nothing about Austin, other than it was the capital of Texas. . .I was 22 and had absolutely nothing tying me down. If I didn't move away at that moment, when I had the most energy and the strongest desire, I would be stuck wondering "what if" for the rest of my natural life. I would rather move away and fail miserably than live with that uncertainty hanging over my head for decades. . .It would be good for me to leave the security of my job, my family, and my friends in Nebraska in exchange for total ambiguity and isolation. I would just have to make the leap of faith and trust God to fill in the blanks." -jen austen

desire.

I can barely sit still.....something is stirring inside of me and it's unlike anything I have ever experienced. it's intense and really good.

"My desire is burning like a million stars and i'll keep reaching out for you. My desire is burning with the fire you sparked."

the cupid shuffle

things got a little out of hand at Cowboy Country when Tiffy and I started doing high kicks on a week night.

the summer of 2009.

"i want to change the world but instead i sleep".

i love that quote above. last night i laid on the floor with Lauren...we had so much to say. It was exciting and refreshing to talk to someone who is so hungry and reaching out for more. This entire summer has really blown my mind. I know that God has had His hand on my life...it is so clear to my friends and I, that we have gotten to this point because of something beyond us. Okay follow me here...timing is everything.

August 2006: enter Drew Wall. I meet Drew at one of my artshows. We hit it off. Sadly, we lose touch for nearly 3 years.

November 2006: enter Michelle Bandach. Michelle & I are in an artshow together at Hurley. She is bizarre, we click immediately.

March 2007: enter Tassia Trink. I meet Tassia when she walks into the Human Resources dept at the hospital i worked at. I saw her walk in, gave her paperwork, made her badge and told myself that we would be friends. Invite her to an artshow I am in.

March 2007: enter Lauren Godlove. Her and Tass come to my artshow. I know that I like these new friends but we continue hanging out randomly in groups every once in awhile for the next 2 years.

(2 year period where I disappear from CA and become a Texan)

June 2009: Randomly meet a girl named Gretchen from Kansas/Mississippi who is mutual friends with a lot of my old friends on Facebook. We meet up and hit it off immediately. She is now my best friend. Come to find out she also knows Drew Wall. Drew & I reunite. Gretchen & I go to a party in Long Beach...she meets all of my friends. Over the summer our group has become a very tight knit group...we have spent one on one time with each other and shared our lives.

a lot of things are happening and it is amazing. life thus far has left me in awe and I am so excited for the future. I am doing things differently on a daily basis. it's going to be good.

Pleonexia & tic tac toe

A word that has echoed in my head for about one month. I tried to shake it off but it was lodged in my brain for good. PLEONEXIA.

"the insatiable desire to have what rightfully belongs to others"

"will pursue its own interests with complete disregard for the rights of others"

"to have a taste of something...and to lust for more."

"never being satisfied"

it's pretty simple. we are all faulty by nature BUT...we know better. Are we ever completely satisfied with where we are at that present moment? Something could always be better...someone could make us happier. There's always something to complain about...something to pick apart and overanalyze until it looks undesireable. We go through this not only in relationships but with everything. I had a job at a hospital....i enjoyed it, i mastered each position I was in, increased my pay and built my resume, but after awhile i dreaded it...i did NOT want to put on a business suit and go to work. i told myself that there HAD to be something better for me...something that fit me. I got the job at Hurley...LOVED IT, dream job. Web content & photography turned into web design. I did that for awhile and took something from it but ultimately decided i didn't want to do that...I didn't like it because it just wasn't "my cup of tea". Social networking is my thing...fun job. Now I sit here and think... I am blessed to have a good paying job that is flexible but is it REALLY my passion? am I ever going to do what I am passionate about? What AM i passionate about? I want to make a differnce and help people without concern for myself and how i'm going to make it in life. At what expense? I get rid of all things comfortable because i want something more. I have been writing about this same thing for 2 years. One day I will do it but seriously... am i always going to want what I don't have?

just some words.

i read blogs daily...google reader is my buddy. here is a photo i stumbled upon yesterday.

i have been making an effort to get to know the girls in my group & really nurture those friendships. so many friends so little time...but i am trying. Last night we had a dinner party at my place. we sat on my patio with lanterns and sipped on beverages, got locked out on the patio, took pictures, and wrote on old paper. there are times when we have just laid on our backs in silence. On Monday night i had a friend over and i realized the next day she was there for 7 hours and it felt like a couple. We talked about God, love, adventure, how we were raised, and things that are important to us. We played music and watched old videos. Talking to her was so inspiring that i cried several times...i told her this was unusual for me (the robot). All of this to say... I appreciate my friends and everyday I am learning something new. Everyday I try to love more, live true, and make a difference. Good things are happening...i can taste it.

LA is on fire.

the view of the hills of LA off of muholland:(


random facts (because it's been awhile):

1. one time i passed out and hit my head on an iron rod...which meant it was time for a cat scan! They said they found a speck in there that didn't seem normal....i told them it was just my brain. (and my dad thinks i don't listen to his jokes haha)

2. if i am sleeping alone my feet push on the footboard of the bed and rock me to sleep. i realize this annoys bed buddies if someone is staying over.

3. i have a spider bite on the BOTTOM of my foot.

4. i have a skateboard under my desk at all times.

5. my favourite travel mug has a name...it is Stanley Aladdin.

cubes are like cages.

while my body sits in this cubicle my mind lives a very exciting & magical life.

these videos inspire me...take a look:

a night in lynchburg from John Carl on Vimeo.