10.29.2009

unbound i go.

"We went on a road trip for 30 days to 30 cities filming stories of people around America. This film is a compilation and summation of that journey." - duckduckcollective.com

This film was shown in San Francisco on October 17th and NYC on October 22nd.

Short Film - Levi's "Go Forth" from John Carl on Vimeo.

10.20.2009

Brandi Carlile @ the Wiltern 10.17.09

I will write something about the show later. I have too much to say & no time to write it. For now, enjoy the video & photos....prints are for sale if you're interested. She leaves me in awe every single time. i took my mom...it was great:)



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10.15.2009

i have dreams.

she is phenomenal & blows my brain...i am pretty obsessed and I'm okay with it. Get to see her at the Filmore in LA on Saturday. favourite part is where she is by that giant green face at the end... for obvious reasons.

the fun theory.

I am in love with the song JUNEBUG by Robert Francis. GO GET IT FOR FREE HERE



10.14.2009

east coast solo adventure.



Yep, that's right...it's that time again. For my yearly trip to the big city. This time, just me...and my camera, laptop, & knife. I would like to take my cajon & guitar because I will be meeting up with some musicians in NYC & Boston BUT i only have 2 hands. So here's my plan...first, let me say that no where in the plan am i seeing sleeping arrangements (except Delaware). Hmm, minor detail. This is dangerous my mother said...i said, no it is not. do you not remember me mentioning i have a sharp knife? Okay, anyway...I fly out of orange county on Nov. 7. Fly into Baltimore airport where a good buddy will pick me up. I am staying with her and her family in Middletown, Delaware. We will go to Philly and have a cheesesteak. Her & I will either roadtrip it to NYC or i will take a bus there. I will spend Tuesday- hmm whenever I want in the city. I will get on a bus or train sometime that next weekend & head up to Boston. Where I will play music, drink coffee, meet my best friend's sister & then fly out of Boston on the 17th. Back to the cubicle on the 18th. This is all very exciting to me...best part, my airline ticket cost $10. If I don't make it back...come searching for me, because that means I did not have a big enough weapon or i just didn't feel like heading back.

10.13.2009

photographs.

one of these days I'll have more time for photography. i play when i can.

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I'm like the wind in the canyon

I'm there then I'm gone in a second.

hi.

i feel like i should write. i can't sleep.

i'm sure i say this in every blog but it's crazy when you're alone how much you really learn about yourself. you're forced to be stuck with you and ONLY you. i suck as a human...i am not a good person. i have been told this once in my life (not counting myself). it's funny, out of all of the people in 26 years that have said i am a good person only one voice echoes in my head repeatedly...and it's really all that matters. Everytime I get on the fwy at Brookhurst and pass that light with the sticker on it, i cringe and play it in my head. Mostly, because it's true. partially because i am one for torturing myself. So....anyway, when i think SPECIFICALLY i would like to think that i am a pretty good person. but when i think relationships in GENERAL i look over the last 10 years...wow, disaster. big disasters. My life is an experiment in bad decisions in that area & only a handful of people know about this. Repeating history is when it becomes ridiculous...and i have definitely done that as well. I think it takes falling and completely messing up in order to really make changes. We all know that and we have all been there.

i was talking to a close friend of mine awhile back and picking myself apart with her. she said that she figured it out...she figured out why i kept getting myself into these familiar situations. Besides the fact that i am dumb haha. she said "people are drawn to you and away from what they have because of your passion...it ignites something inside of them and makes them realize things are stale. they ache for that intense passion that they remember they once had." ugh, yeah...passion is great and all but this was not a good thing for me to hear, because i LOVE connecting with other people like this. what she said definitely clicked. i have spent 10 years being in situations like this. putting myself there and sometimes finding myself there unexpectedly. now i recognize it clear as day. i know this because things pop up and i am tested...i actually have to shut my eyes tight and think about what is going on because my immediate reaction is to reach out, listen and help. i'm not always the one that needs to help...i'm realizing that sometimes i just can't be that person. like i said, i'm learning.

i have felt in the past like i am constantly having to look out for someone else...and make sure i am making decisions that are right for them, so that they aren't hurt. despite what some people may think i HATE hurting people. Even when I was the one being hurt I was still worried about the person who was hurting me. I kind of just wanted someone to look out for me for once...but i really am starting to believe that in the moment everyone is in it for themselves. All of us. I have been lied to and i have lied. Life is short...we lose people when we lie. we lose people when we put ourselves first....sometimes they come back around, sometimes seconds chances are handed out freely, sometimes you only get one chance. you take away the lessons and the memories and you hope and pray to God that someone was made to love you for the good and the bad.

"i want passion, the kind that tears your stomach out... the kind that takes you to that next level"

10.09.2009

Give Up The Ghost.

ugh i love her & Alison Miller...saw her play with Ani DiFranco. There needs to be more girl drummers in the world.