the turning point‭.

This is documentation of one girls dream to do something MORE‭. ‬That girl is me‭.‬

We all have those thoughts about that THING‭. ‬That one thing we may never do before we die‭. ‬we write about it and go on brain trips about the‭ "‬what ifs‭" ‬in life surrounding that THING‭. ‬How many of us really take those thoughts and have our way with them‭? ‬Sure‭, ‬some of us quit our jobs in search of a variety of things‭...‬or maybe‭, ‬just maybe in search of absolutely nothing at all‭. ‬just because it feels right‭.‬

I'm Steph‭. ‬I'm 26‭. ‬In those 26‭ ‬years I have lived in 1‭ ‬place‭...‬Orange County‭, ‬CA‭. ‬I am climbing that corporate ladder right now‭ ‬&‭ ‬have been since I was 20‭, ‬why‭? ‬Because it's what we are raised to do‭. ‬go to school‭, ‬get a job‭, ‬take out loans to go to school‭ ‬again‭, ‬marry a man‭ (‬if you're a woman‭), ‬get a better job‭, ‬have kids and raise them to do the same‭. ‬Honestly‭, ‬I skipped out on a‭ ‬majority of those things‭. ‬Mmmmm‭...‬doesn't this sound good‭...‬dripping with success‭, ‬dream job‭, ‬brand new car‭, ‬closets full of clothes‭, ‬a crapload of computer/photography/music equipment‭, ‬living comfortably‭, ‬having enough money to spend frivolously‭, ‬living‭ ‬&‭ ‬working 5‭ ‬minutes from the beach‭, ‬working for a big name surf brand‭...‬maybe even one day that white picket fence‭, ‬yeah‭? ‬Sounds‭ ‬like a pretty dang good life‭. ‬If you don't know me you'd think I was bragging‭. ‬Rest assured‭, ‬I am not‭. ‬I am blessed to be where‭ ‬I am right now‭ ‬&‭ ‬I know I didn't get here on my own‭. ‬People might say by leaving this life behind that I take it for granted‭. ‬I‭ ‬have spent the last 26.5‭ ‬years doing what I was doing for a reason‭...‬to get me right here in this moment‭. ‬The turning point‭.‬

What it really comes down to‭... ‬I am tired‭. ‬Tired of spending my time doing pointless tasks that don't help a single person besides myself‭. ‬And am I really helping myself‭? ‬With that success comes‭...‬long days/nights‭, ‬ridiculous amounts of stress‭, ‬being cramped in a bubble‭, ‬saggy eyes‭, ‬wearing stiff clothes‭, ‬no time for cultivating friendships‭, ‬never leaving the familiar‭, ‬maybe even‭ ‬seeing the same people everyday‭, ‬not having time to do things that make my heart happy‭, ‬working hard to pay the bills just to come home and sleep in the house you pay for‭...‬then wake up and do it all over again‭. ‬FOR YEARS‭. ‬All for what‭? <‬span style‭="‬font-weight:bold‭;">‬TO DIE‭. ‬We work so hard every single day and we don't get to take any of that with us‭. ‬what do we leave here‭ ‬when our bodies are buried under a mound of dirt‭? ‬The memories and love that we shared with others‭. ‬Have we missed the point‭? ‬I‭ ‬think yes‭. ‬Follow me on my journey into the unknown‭....‬and share your stories with me too‭. ‬This could get interesting‭. ‬

2 COMMENTS:

bonnie m. said...
i fucking love this. and you.
DECEMBER 8, 2009 10:24 PM

Steph said...
bonnie!! you made me smile realllll big just now. 
miss you large amounts!
DECEMBER 21, 2009 12:06 PM