i am frustrated to the point of tears right now. when i get upset i bite my cheeks and do dishes forcefully (i think i got that from my mom haha). i scrub countertops, organize drum hardware & dust between piano keys. Stuff that I know I can fix immediately. i feel better now. you guys (whomever you are) seriously...life is so short & I am reminded of that everyday I get closer to dying. sounds morbid but really....it's not. Truth is, in 2010 I am moving. Moving away from Orange County...as far away from it as I can get actually. This involves leaving my family after 26 years of either being in the same house or being right across the street from them. Without going into too much detail....i am frustrated for the following reasons:
1. if your family wants to do something (let's say...go on a roadtrip to Seattle over Christmas break) and is excited about it...suck it up, don't be selfish. This could be the last time you spend with them and when you're at their funeral crying and trying to remember all of the good memories... you would give anything to have that time back.
2. people aren't going to do stuff for you your entire life. Be an adult. Grow up. One day people won't cater to you anymore.
3. if you find yourself bored or needing to be entertained on a regular basis assess your life....there are SO many things to do. Find a hobby, figure out what your heart loves...find your passion and hold onto it tight with both hands. Once you find that...things stem from that and eventually you find yourself with too much to do and it's exciting!
4. if i decide to make you a present for christmas and you already bought mine don't say "oh, i wish i would've known that so i didn't spend so much money".....really? we have really missed the point of the holidays if that's our attitude.
5. i have half a mind (okay maybe a little more than half) to quit everything and just go see my family...my extended family. My friends, new friends and meet people....let them know I am thankful for them and love them. am i too sappy? probably. do people read this and think....steph that's not life, you just CAN'T do that...you have responsibilities. you have to make money, get a house...settle down. yeah. watch me.
my dad just called to check on me...:) my family is great. i think frustration with people is good because it forces you to put things in your own life into perspective and make adjustments. okay enough ranting for now. i don't know why i even put this on here. i just had an idea that came from this blog....time to start it.
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7 comments:
I heart your heart Steph.
<3333333
i really FEEL this post.
i felt it too and so did my dishes.
<3 you guys.
cleaning is one of the most satisfying forms of therapy i know.
I myself have had an exceedingly frustrating weekend and I'm not sure I have it in me to philosophize, right now. At least not to the degree that would satisfy me... churn the words so they sound poignantly eloquent and get my point across in a manner to make you go "woah"... you know me. :-) Anyhow, with that little disclaimer out in the open I will say this: Life is about relationships. Of this, I am 200% sure. And I don't mean, settle down, get married and have kids. Life is about cultivating relationships. Meeting people, helping people, learning from people, touching lives. Everything else fades away. I love you. Follow your heart.
aj...i miss you friend. i look forward to your comments. i started a new blog. should get interesting. you haven't written on your blog in forever:(
I'm looking forward to the new blog! :-) Yes, my blog is long neglected. I can only say in so many different ways, "I'm not doing what I wish I was doing right now!! And I can't seem to do anything about it!!" My life is pleasantly bearable, but nowhere near the adventure I would like.
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