4.09.2010

2000 pounds of brick.

"Desire nothing and you will never miss anything you don't have. Love no one and no one will have the power to hurt you by leaving you. Teach yourself not to love life too much and death will hold no terror for you"

This quote hit my heart like 2000 pounds of brick. We've all had our hearts injured by others. We've altered things about ourselves and the way we communicate and approach situations... usually based off of someone else (who probably isn't even around anymore). The easiest way to keep ourselves from experiencing heartache again is to protect our heart at all costs. Defend ourselves. Internalize and hide emotions. Eventually, shutting down. this is damaging in making things healthy in the here and now. Bringing leftovers to a new relationship is a recipe for disaster but it almost seems natural...you discover what you want and what you don't want from past experiences, if that new person doesn't live up to that or makes the same mistakes as someone before they are automatically in trouble because it's familiar to you.

We want them to be the good things from the past and work hard at not being the bad. At what cost?

i think i know the answer.

4 comments:

Anonymous said...

good post! i think the basic/obvious statement is to be fully aware when you are bringing the baggage and avoid being unable to reason with your emotions.
this is exactly what i have been fearing lately. i do not want to bring the leftovers. i want to start anew. i can tell myself i have worked through it all until i am blue in the face, but when faced with reminders, how will i react?? only time will tell. remind myself/yourself "the person in front of you is not personX" and hopefully we will be able to Enjoy this new person for who They are. There is a reason we are wanting to trust them with more and more of ourselves, letting down that guard that is so familiar and safe. That reason just might be that they really are NOT anything like our PersonX at all, so why treat them like they are? bringing all those leftovers to the table?

lauren said...

You took the words right outta my mouth, Steph. Sigh.

fearle55 said...

Steph... just browsing the blog and I saw yours... I wanted to cite the quote. it can be found in a book by rabbi harold kushner called The Lord is my Shepherd. It talks about Psalm 23. I am almost finished if you would like to read it. keep writing. i love reading your thoughts.

STEPH GRANT said...

At what cost? Losing themselves?