sometimes i feel like my entire life is spiraling out of control. tonight i lost someone..but tonight i helped someone out. they got their life back. i feel like all i do is invest in things only to sink low into my worn out seat in the front row to watch them shatter. most of the time it's my own damn fault...but i recall a time where i couldn't breathe and choked back the tears... tears you only cry when you've had your heart demolished. i am sure you know it well. i shake my head with my eyes closed tightly as i wait for that familiar blow to the gut.
i fall fast.
i love hard. before the love is gone.
i hit hard.
i mend slowly. and my heart aches quite terribly.
every step of the way.
i used to say i only trust myself but now even that's getting hard.
you think this is about you. you have no idea.
8/30/09 hmm...i came across this in my old journal. no matter how many mistakes i have made over the years...i know that i was loving, living and learning. life is good...it takes us by surprise.
5 comments:
truth my rockstar friend...truth.
gretch, i am so excited about life right now...good things are going to happen, i can just feel it in my bone marrow. i'm glad you're writing.
Very profound, I love it! My name is J. and I'm from Nor Cal. Feel free to stop by my blog and read my stuff. anyway, take care.
-J.
:)writing is like what snakes do...shedding their skin
must. shed. more. it feels so good to shake off the old.
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