All you need is LOVE?

Yep...a blog about that mushy love stuff.

Let's get some things out on the table here...from birth-2007 Valentine's Day had always been just another day. The idea of it made me romantical on the insides but it stopped at that...an idea. a fairy tale. Kinda like that wedding day of mine that I really never thought about. The extent of my wedding plans: me being certain that I wanted an evening wedding with hanging white lights. Then I'd move onto something else in my brain. ANYWAY... The last 2 Valentine's Days I have spent with different people...I am ready to spend this day with one person for the rest of my life. Is it ridiculous to think this nowadays? I was beginning to think so but now I am finding hope.

Some people say (I'm thinking specifically of Nicole Kidman singing on the elephant in Moulin Rouge) "ALL YOU NEED IS LOOOOOVE"...

Is this true? I say NO. I have definitely loved before...but it didn't last for one reason or another. So, no...that is false in my case. What does it really take then? To last a lifetime. I have my ideas but I am curious what you think. As for me, I will be spending the weekend in the snow at Lake Arrowhead watching this movie:)

Everybody's Fine.

The trailer doesn't do this movie justice. I used to not cry during movies....that has all changed. Tonight I went with my family to see this movie at the cheap theatre. I had no idea what I was in for. Recently, and by recently I mean several years....I have been struggling with something. I don't care to talk about it with most people but I'll write about it on here because it needs to be outside of me for once. This is really hard for me to write because I feel like no matter what words come out no one will understand what I am trying to get at, but I will try anyway. Talking in code is pretty entertaining and if people took the time...I guess it's not too hard to figure out what I'm talking about. As most of you know I am really good at tip toeing around topics (which makes complete sense now)....I'm starting to get over that and becoming more real by the second.

Basically, the main topics of this movie (and the main things I have been struggling with):
1. truth being hidden from people close to us for other people's happiness.
2. keeping things from people because they can't handle it.
3. not really knowing the people closest to us when they are the ones that should know us best.
4. wanting to take it back and finally get to know someone when it's too late.
5. living in denial & avoiding issues that make us uncomfortable.

Point is... Very few truly know me. my family doesn't even know me. Honestly, they will be shocked when they find this blog when I die. They have known me for almost 27 years and are the people I love most in this life and yet...still, they only know what I tell them or what they choose to hear. As I sat there in the theatre with them...I sunk low into my chair and sobbed quietly. I hoped as they were watching this movie that they would somehow get the message. The message that their daughter wants them to know her. My friend said something interesting to me last night...she said, "parents are mostly there to help us when we fall....maybe they're not supposed to be a part of every step of the journey." That sure made me think. At this point one major thing is coming between us and it is very hard not to hate that thing....I have to understand and I cannot be mad at them. Life is about love....about the people we meet along the way that help shape us into who we are. Life's too short to put up barriers between the ones we love most...no matter how we were raised. Love is more important than an old set of rules any day and if I ever have kids they will be raised to know that. I've learned that avoiding things and living in denial is easier than hearing the truth...and it's also the worst way to live. But hey, they know one thing for sure....steph's always fine.

can't wait for this!

every little thing about this trailer makes my heart do the happy dance!

Elizabethtown, Kentucky

you know when you watch a movie for the second time a few years after you originally watched it and it means more to you...something just clicks. This happened to me when I watched Elizabethtown this past sunday. I couldn't get enough of it...especially the part where she made him a road map with music to go along for the drive. i am tired of being in the orange county bubble....the world is so big.

"make time to dance alone with one hand waving free."

Pump the brakes.

"a life lived in fear is a life half lived."

I recently saw an epic film....Australia. And by recently i mean a month and a half ago. It was phenomenal to say the least. At some point during the previews I saw the above quote and it stuck with me. I am sure I have heard it before but this time the flavour of the words mingled in my brain throughout the entire movie. I have never been one to be afraid of my next move...if I want something I do it, if I want to learn something new I put my all into it and get it done. I usually throw myself into things before I have time to be fearful. I can think of a handful of times when that did not work out in my favour and I jumped the gun. Regretful? Negatron. I learned a lot about myself...through weakness and lessons learned one builds stability. Reminds me of the scripture in James, count it all joy...whenever you face trials of many kinds, because you know that the testing of your faith develops perseverance. Perseverance must finish its work so that you may be mature and complete, not lacking anything. I have always been a thinker. I have my fair share of those zone out in space moments and they usually occur after I have made certain decisions that my brain deems as stupid. I tend to follow my heart on a daily basis and my brain catches up eventually. How often does our brain keep our heart from moving forward...and is that a good thing? I know that most people would argue that you should follow what your brain is telling you. well that gets me to thinking... how much of life do we miss out on because we are too consumed with fear of moving from our comfy spot and jumping into something whole-heartedly. Something that could quite possibly be the best experience of our lives....or maybe the worst, it's all part of life. It is to be embraced.